the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
