K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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