Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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