dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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