What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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