On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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