like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
