omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
