She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
