Fuck appropriateness.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
