I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
