Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
