I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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