My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I lost the right to judge tonight
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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