you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
