My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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