adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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