he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
