Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
