I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
