Umm I'm too high to move.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
