some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Barsexuality is the new black.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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