The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
