so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
