Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
