dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
