my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
