I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
