the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
