i just wanna soil my oats bro
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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