that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
dude. I can hear the air.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
