I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
