So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
