absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
