I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
