worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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