I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He shit in the fireplace
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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