people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
