Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
