I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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