so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
