Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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