He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
did i walk over a car last night?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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