Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
