Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
