Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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