No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
