We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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