I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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