Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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